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No time for pleasantries! No time for quips! We’ve got some serious business to discuss!
What a week! The biggest story is the epic battle between @The_Darth_Vader and @LeiaOrganaSolo over the future of @Allana_Solo. Vader wants his great-granddaughter to be trained in the ways of the Sith, while her Highness, insists little Allana be raised a Jedi. Her Worship lost her oldest son, Jacen, to the Dark Side when he became Darth Caedus. So, its not surprising that she’s being extremely protective of Jacen’s daughter. Vader held his daughter prisoner…again, and attempted to instruct Allana in the ways of the Sith. The Force is strong in this family, and Leia was able to tell her granddaughter that Vader was keeping her prisoner. To assuage Allana’s fears, Vader took her to see her grandmother, but was met by an incredibly angry Leia who proceeded to choke him with…and we’re not making this up…the collar off of Allana’s toy ewok. Leia then rushed her granddaughter to the safety of another ship with the help of people who wish to remain anonymous. When the Dark One came to, he RFC’d Allana back to the Executor! After fighting through the defenses of @SSD_Executor, Senator Solo was able to retrieve her grandbaby and whisk her away to a secret location. Vader’s antics have gotten him into hot water with some of his most loyal friends. Some of whom worked hard to protect the confused seven year old from Vader’s dark ways. Humbled and distraught that he had hurt his precious Allana, Lord Vader landed on the doorstep of the Jedi Temple begging to return…as a Jedi. Vader as a Jedi? We can’t even fathom that! Luckily for the Jedi and the Sith, His Lordship’s current lady (well, one of them), @AzlynRae, arrived and talked some sense into him. As a Jedi, you’d think she’d have been thrilled to have him renounce the Sith…I guess love is truly blind.
In our continuing coverage of the romance of @Obis_Wand and @Every1HatesAni, we bring you an important and juicy update! Looks like @Kitiyari has joined the party! We all know that Ani and Kiti FINALLY got together for some tea and cookies. Now the three are living together in a new home purchased by the Chosen One. Looks like they’re all very happy…but Confidential is keeping our eyes and ears open!
Newest Master, @QuiGon_Jinn has a new Padawan learner. Our newly alive Jedi found a young girl with Force potential living in the undercity of Coruscant. Looks like Master Jinn has quite a challenge on his hands with the feral girl known only as Kit. Our sources say she bears a striking similarity to someone around here, but they can’t quite put their tentacles on it. Word is that Master QGJ has enlisted the help of former padawan, Anakin Skywalker, as well as @DiscoGryphon.
In other news, @CadeSkywalker’s apprentice, @PadawanCerah created a bit of mischief in the castle by releasing the hoojibs from their hutch. Master Skywalker was most displeased, and Cerah rounded up the missing bunnies with the help of Allana Solo and @Rose_Gryphon. Later the trio was led by Leia Organa Solo for some mattress surfing down the staircase of the castle! @_Navaar has been heating up @ThePrinceXizor’s palace with ol’ Lizard breath himself! Allana Solo has a new cuddly pet, a chittermyrr named @__Grey who just LOVES her! Looks like @Logan_R is really @DarthEdward, much to @STSarahHaku’s dismay. @Dark_Luke and @STBarbMorley are still going strong and @CaptJunoEclipse is still stalking poor clueless @Evry1WantsAni…
That’s all the gossip fit to blog! Remember to get your Ask Kiti questions into @SWConfidential!
And now…our exclusive interview with @_Navarr!!
SWC: Hi! Thanks for talking to us. and, welcome to the Star Wars Twitterverse!
Navaar: Thank you! I am enjoying myself. :)
SWC: How are you enjoying our little twitterverse?
Navaar: I have found everyone in your universe to be so friendly and welcoming. And the men in your universe are such gentlemen! Everyone calls me “my lady” or “Miss” - I am not used to this, but it certainly is something I am enjoying. And the ladies are inviting me to participate in their social functions, which is also a lot of fun. :)
SWC: What made you decide to join us?
N: I was intrigued by the idea of a universe without slavery. I wanted to be free. In addition, everyone treated me so differently than I was treated in my universe. I wanted to join all of you.
SWC: Is it very different than the Star Trek universe you are a part of? if so, how?
N: Yes, it is very different. For one thing, the laws of time do not apply here! There are several versions of Anakin Skywalker - all different ages, but they all coexist. It has taken a lot to get used to that.
SWC: Can you tell us a little about yourself? origins, personality, species, etc?
N: I am an Orion. We produce pheromones, but it appears that many of the species in your universe are immune to them. Unlike the Falleen, we cannot control when we produce our pheromones - they are constantly produced. Orions practice slavery, and Orion women are highly prized as slaves.
As for myself personally, I am slowly becoming more outgoing and confident. It has been very difficult transitioning from being a slave to being free. I was very timid in the beginning, but as I get to know more people have become more confident in my ability to make proper choices, I am hoping that I will one day leave my slave mentality behind.
SWC: What are you up to right now? (Story wise-that you can share with us)
N: I am the captain of my own ship, the Orion Star. I have a crew of about 20 guys - all but one are Orion. I have started a shipping business, and we have already taken on several clients. Our home base will be on Coruscant. Prince Xizor has generously offered to build a new wing onto his palace so that I will have a place on Coruscant to run the business.
Business is booming now that word has spread about the transporters I use. It seems you do not have that technology here.
SWC: In following you, I’ve seen that you have established relationships with Dr Lecter and others. What can you tell us about those relationships?
N: There are two main relationships I have.
One is with Hannibal. He is one of the very first people I met from a universe other than my own, and he worked hard to buy my freedom from Harrad-Sar. He gave me a place to stay when Harrad-Sar banished me from his ship. He is like a father to me. I know what he is - I have no illusions about that - but I do not fear him, and I know he would never harm me. He is very dear to me.
The other is with Prince Xizor. I was drawn to him from the moment I met him, and I have grown to love him. He is a very *blushes green* fascinating man. *smiles*
SWC: Are there any favourite storylines or people, besides yours, that you follow in the ‘Verse? Anyone you’d like to interact with more often?
N: I love watching all of the storylines. If I had to choose only one or two people that I would like to interact more with it would be Qui-gon Jinn and Obi Wan.
SWC: We love having you with us. You’re a wonderful addition to our family. Thank you for being our first interview!
N: Thank you! I am loving being here. Thank you for asking me to be your first interview.
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Its been another busy week in the Twitterverse, boys and girls…and aliens, sentient planets, star destroyers, and plastic figures. Shall we dive right in?
Let’s start with some good news! The wedding of @Echo1409 and @DiscoGryff (hereafter known as @DiscoGryphon) went off without a hitch, a delay, or a missing groom! Sources tell Confidential that the couple wrote their own vows and both were very teary. What followed was a fabulous reception with music selected by @CadeSkywalker and @The_Darth_Vader. Much dancing and frivolity ensued! Mr. and Mrs. Gryphon left for their honeymoon, taking their daughter with them…destination: DisneyWorld on planet Earth. Congratulations Gryphon family!
Last week, we all saw and heard @Obis_Wand and @Every1HatesAni’s love fests, but now looks like trouble in paradise! Seems that old Force bond between Anakin and @Kitiyari is throwing a hydrospanner into the works. After months of itching, those two have finally scratched. Yes, Anakin and Kiti decided it was time. Maybe the Force bond is just too strong for those two to stay apart. How will this affect Kiti’s relationship with the younger @Evry1WantsAni? Or Anakin’s budding romance with Obi-Wan? Watch this space!
SWConfidential would like to welcome our newest Jedi Master to return from the great Force beyond…@QuiGon_Jinn. Perhaps his guidance will help his former padawan, @Obis_Wand? Or maybe he’ll just be sharing his best ‘medicinal herb’ with his friends. There was quite the party going on at Obi’s pad the other night. No one was feeling any pain there! Not even our plastic friends, @PlasticSolo and @PLASTIC_LEIA! Who knew plastics could get high? But they did, with a little help from their friends.
Our favourite Dark Lord has been quite busy around the ‘Verse lately! And Lady Vader, @AriaBrisard, is apparently a very understanding wife. Our tall, dark and Sithly has taken on a harem of wives! Confidential sources say the number of Vader Wives is up to 15! Known wives include, @STSarahHaku @Lady_Rabe @DiscoGryff @Female_Revan @Lady_Everon @DarkAida @ilVampiraElisa @mariicarool @ariabrisard @STBarbMorley @McSpirky. Lady Aria is still number one in our Lord’s heart, but the return of a very much alive @Senator_Amidala definitely threw our unflappable one for a loop as it looks like those two are still, technically married. Darth Vader has also been seen courting the lovely Imperial Knight and Jedi, @AzlynRae. No word yet on if he’s popped the question to Master Rae. Will her loyalty to the Fel Empire, @Marasiah_Fel, and the Jedi Order interfere with this burgeoning love affair? We hope you’re getting a bulk rate discount on diamond rings, Lord Vader!
That’s all the gossip fit to blog, dear readers! Stay tuned for our next installment!
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Twitterverse Confidential
Its been another busy week in the Twitterverse, happy readers! Enough with the pleasantries, lets dive into the gossip pool.
Update on the Exactor attack! Looks like credit for the capture of the rogue Rebel goes to our own @STSarahHaku and @STBarbMorley. Working tirelessly, they helped bring him to Lord Vader for some Sith Justice. The Lady Vader, @ariabrisard is recovering in the care of His Lordship and we wish her a speedy recovery.
Wedding Bells are ringing…finally for our favourite baker and her trooper! Yes, dear reader, it has finally happened. @DiscoGryff and @Echo1409 were spotted obtaining their marriage license this week. A few well-placed credits in the right hands, and your happy reporter learned that the wedding is scheduled for Saturday! According to my sources, the bride will be attended by her closest friends, @Kitiyari and @Deliah_Blue,as well as the couple’s daughter @Rose_Gryphon (that readers is a story for another time!) Apparently, the bride’s former boyfriend, @CadeSkywalker will be walking her down the aisle. Should make for an interesting evening! Congrats to the happy couple!
Speaking of Goldie, our Cade is converting part of his lovely Earth castle into a Jedi Temple. Seems the Twitterverse’s bad boy has settled since marrying @Deliah_Blue. Already training his first student, @Padawan_Sarah, Skywalker is taking this endeavour very seriously and we wish him nothing but good luck. He’ll make a great Master…just ask Deliah Blue, Azlyn Rae, Kitiyari, DiscoGryff and Talon. I kid, Cade. You’ll be a great Jedi Master! May the Force be with him.
The juiciest news has to be the newest Twitterverse super couple! @Every1hatesAni and @Obis_Wand. Our Chosen One has been seen, and heard, heating up the ‘Verse with his former Jedi Master. I guess, Obi-Wan is still Anakin’s “Master.” The two recorded quite the steamy ‘tea’ romp the other evening that was ‘mistakenly’ broadcast over the @SSDExecutor’s systems. Well, not that they knew they were being recorded, that was all thanks to our little plastic troublemakers! But, I guess we know why little Ani’s marriage isn’t quite what it used to be.
In other gossip news, @The_Tycho proposed to his young lady, @aiwonderland, and she said yes! @Vao_Goldheart, once believed Missing or Killed in Action, has returned home. And the baby boom continues with the announcement of @Master_Vos becoming a daddy in a few months.
Well, lovely reader, that’s all the gossip fit to blog. Stay tuned for my interview with our lovely Orion, @_Navaar!
Coming Soon! Ask Kiti! Our very own Hapan is here to answer your questions and solve your problems! Submit questions to Kiti to @SWConfidential!
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Good Morning Twitterversers! I hope everyone has had a wonderful few weeks, because its time to get down to the serious business of gossip!
Oh, where to begin! So much juiciness, so little space to type. Lets begin on the lighter side of the ‘Verse. Seems that we have been invaded by…Trekkies. Yes that’s right, loyal reader, the Star Wars Twitterverse is now home to several members of the Star Trek community. Invited by our own tall, dark, and sithly, @The_Darth_Vader, we have been joined by @_Navaar @SharaTheOrion @RedShirtBarb, and the man himself @JamesT_Kirk. Some have even…*GASP* turned to the dark side of the ‘Verse! @RedShirtBarb is also @STBarbMorley—-a Stormtrooper! The merging of our two galaxies has gone so smoothly that others have joined in the fun. Gangsters @NotJoePesci @NotRobertDeNiro and @NotScarface are now in personal service to the Godfather of the Galaxy, Darth Vader.
Speaking of Lord Vader, and we do love to speak of our black clad Sith, after all the tension with son Luke, the dark side has finally won out. @Dark_Luke has taken his place at his father’s side. Let me tell you, our Vader is thrilled. Dark Luke has settled in quite nicely with the Sith way of life. If only they could get @LeiaOrganaSolo to turn. When this reporter asked, “Would you ever turn to the dark side?” the response from her Worshipfulness was a definite, “I will never join the dark side. I am fully commited to the Rebel Alliance and nothing will waver my devotion to it’s cause.”
Wedding Bells are ringing! The Twitterverse has held its third wedding. @Vao_Goldheart and our favourite Vamp @TeaMistress (now @Mist_Goldheart) tied the knot after a short courtship. We were all a bit worried, and no one more so than Mist herself, when the groom was very late to the altar. Guests were entertained by the antics of the two cutest flower girls on Coruscant. Miss @Allana_Solo and Miss @Rose_Gryphon tossed flower petals and sparkles on their way down the aisle, getting them everywhere (Including @Every1HatesAni’s precious hair) So, now when is our favourite engaged couple, @DiscoGryff and @Echo1409, going to get hitched. No date set so far. Watch this space!
Unfortunately, along with the good, there is the bad. This week, the StarDestroyer Exactor, @Aria_Brisard’s own ship, was attacked by a rogue Rebel agent. A biological attack that corrupted the food supply caused many officers to require treatment in the med bay. One of the stricken was, Commander Brisard herself. @CadeSkywalker worked valiantly to save her life, but was unable to save the Vaders’ unborn child. It is a sad time for all of us and our sympathies go out to Aria and Darth Vader. While the Lady Vader was recovering, His Lordship and loyal officers and troopers worked tirelessly to find the culprit. Needless to say, he was found and dispatched, Sith Lord style. With the help of his daughter, Leia and Trooper @The_Tycho, the mastermind of the plot is now being brought to justice.
That’s all the gossip fit to blog, dear readers! Do watch for my special one on one interview with @_Navaar coming soon!
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If anyone would like to continue doing updates for Twitterverse as the maintainer isn’t as available as previously intended, there is a posting form that lets you
Submit your own update. If you make @Cadeskywalker (or @Jedijon) aware you have submitted an entry on the coming and goings of the ‘verse, it’ll go through for others to keep up to date with the current events of Twitter. Alternatively, if this site no longer holds much purpose, we can do away with the Twitterverse Tumblr itself.
Here’s the Follow Friday List. If there are names no longer active or who need to be added, please contact Cade or Jon for these changes to take place. Thanks to @Discogryff for her recent amendments.
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A couple of weeks ago, the Twitterverse was joined by another Anakin Skywalker, @evry1wantsani. This new Anakin is pre-Attack of the Clones. No attachments, still a good little Jedi Knight. When he arrived, he fell for our very own @Kitiyari_Dreams, who had been harbouring feelings for the married Anakin, @Every1HatesAni. Now that there’s an unattached Anakin, our Miss Kitiyari can finally have some happiness, and it looks like new, younger Anakin is quite happy himself. How do our two Anakin’s feel about each other? Well, actually they don’t get along at all. How do they interact? They usually don’t. But when they do, it aint pretty.
Along with our new Ani, the timeline of the Twitterverse was bent just a little, to welcome little @Allana_Solo, granddaughter of @han_solo_ and @leiaorganasolo. Allana is the child of @Jacen_Solo and @tenelka / @Tenel_Ka_Djo. Cute, little Allana showed up to the surprise of her grandparents and even more of a shock to her great-grandfather, @The_Darth_Vader. Her adorableness and sweet disposition quickly brought our Dark Lord to his knees. The great Vader, felled by a 7 year old little half-Hapan girl. He even let her put sparkles on his cape! Awww! We know our Vader to be a great guy, but watching the two of them play Jedi and Siths is priceless. Allana already has a large family here in the TwitterVerse. She’s a Solo, a Skywalker, and a member of the Hapan royal line. Who here isn’t related to her? Tho the struggle between the Jedi side of the family and the Sith side is creating problems for the little one. Allana has been welcomed into the ‘Verse with open arms and lots of free cupcakes…and that makes her typist VERY happy!
Shortly after Allana’s arrival, the ‘Verse was bent a whole lot. We are all very excited for the arrival of mine and @Echo1409’s little EchoGryff next year. Our wonderful little surprise has made us very happy. We look forward to meeting our precious one soon! Oh, what’s that?! A little girl with my red hair and Echo’s eyes appeared soon after I was RFC’d ((Reverse Force Choked)) by @The_Darth_Vader? She came in the shop and asked ‘Aunt Kitty’ for her mommy? Yep, looks like the Force has done something unexpected. The RFC may have caused a rift in time and brought my baby girl, @Rose_Gryphon, to me and Echo from 7 years in the future. She is most definitely our baby and she’s here to stay. What does this mean for the pregnancy? Well, the doctor says the baby is fine, I’m still preggers. The castle is going to get very crowded soon.
Love and Cupcakes!
@DiscoGryff
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Cade and Blue are now hanging with @jariah_syn on Tattoine. New Jariah, so go add.
Kit and @evry1wantsani totally boned in a Fort made out of couches. They’re so dating and I’m going to tell @obiwankenobi lololol
Disco and Echo are going to have a baby.
Vader and Aria in their many guises are doing evil things to people and at the same time being disgustingly cute together. Gross.
Sidious is being harrassed by his old Master who has an obsession with repetition.
Boba Fett smokes… the other Boba Fett prefers PS3 to Xbox.
@Allana_solo is probably one of the cutest twitter accounts around.
@Jysella_horn is still in Carbonite, which is lame. LAME.
@Plasticcade is growing and drinking orange juice.
Ben and Luke are somewhere. Mara’s not killed other Luke yet.
Han Solo and PlasticSolo are still badasses. PlasticSolo gets more action from Plastic_Leia than Han does from leiaorganasolo
A lot of people have second accounts.
People keep changing names so I cba to write them up here.
Chewie showed up. Everyone kidnapped Leia. She got eaten by a Rancor at one point.
Oh and I think one of the Leias and one of the Lukes have a thing… which is super gross. Dad stop it.
Ben
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A rift in the Force (or maybe just in Twitter’s API) has caused several members of the twitterverse to invest in cloning.
Some already had their own cloning chambers, while others simply dialed 1-800-HELP-ME-PALPS, and for a substantial fee, obtained their clone as well as a free DVD on the wonders of Force Lightning.
In case you haven’t met all the clones, I’ll try and give a full list. It’s like Pokemon really, you gotta catch em all.
First, we’ll start off with @Every1HatesAni. You can find his clone at @Every1H8sAnakin.
The lovely @discogryff has cloned herself as @discogryffin.
After a lengthy twitter ban, His Lordship, @The_Darth_Vader returned only to find out that he too suffered from API shortage, and had to create not one, but two clones. You can find him at @Darth__Vader__ or @Every1BansVader.
In addition to training with my husband, @Kitiyari_Dreams is another tweeter who saw the need for a clone, and can be found at @Kiti_Dreams.
Yours truly decided she would try her hand at cloning as well. This led to a rather dark clone of mine, known as @The_Lady_Vader.
There have been a couple of newcomers as well, notably @Darth__Plagueis (the Wise!) @Y_Isard @Plastic_Chewie @CaptJunoEclipse and @WookieeChewie.
And there you have it. Brisard out.
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Call it a crazy whim of the Force, or just SW canon (Episode V, chapter 8, pg 245, first paragraph, first line), but it seems that yes, even Sith Lords can be suspended from the public comm frequency.
So, you come to me as a faithful servant of the Galactic Empire, and you ask, “Hey Vader. If a menacing, dark, galactic overlord like yourself can get locked away, what’s going to happen to me? And if it happens, what do I do?”
All too easy.
Step 1. Force-choke a droid.
Step 2. Interrogate a Rebel. Or two. Or…1,347. ((Yes, I was somewhat enraged…))
Step 3. Go to a higher power. I went and told my troubles to @Darth__Sidious. Talk about a Sith who understands.
After much Force-lightning, my master used his “UNLIMITED POWERRRRRR!!!!” to remind me that pain was indeed worse than the loss of my comm privileges. Still recovering from that one. ((shudders))
Which led me to Step 4. Play up the injured bit, and get the royal treatment from @ariabrisard. With the construction of my alternate comm, via @Darth__Vader__, it was like I went on a second honeymoon! ((We won’t go on about that. I’ll leave it to Brisard to fill you in…)) ;)
Step 5 was one I didn’t count on, and was the most effective of all. Call on your friends in the twitterverse to help you. I am humbled that so many of you treat your Dark Lord with such high regards.
So, twitterverse, I hope this clears up some missed time. I really should just keep a holo-journal. Pass on what you have learned to another Force-adept. The trachea you save might one day be your own. ((smirk))
Oh, and by the way…I lied. Episode V, chapter 8, pg 245, first paragraph, first line clearly states, “Darth Vader looked like a great silent god as he stood on the main control deck of his mammoth Star Destroyer.” ((Look it up, if you don’t believe me.))
((End transmission))
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So, today during the great Twitterpocalypse, there were few shenanigans to be had. I missed most, mostly because I’ve been flying the Skate around A LOT lately (hey smuggled booze doesn’t deliver itself), so you’ll need to update if you want your stuff added.
A few days ago my handsome hubby @Corran_H decided to show up and try his hand at parenting our frozen-in-carbonite daughter @jysella_horn (who is still somehow dating @thebenskywalker). His version of parenting is as follows:
Corran_H @Jysella_Horn Unfair?!?! Get captured and captured and tortured by a crazy-eyed bitch, then we’ll talk about unfair.
Jysella_Horn @Corran_H no disrespect but a crazy bitch did capture me, she also said I’m nuts. WTF right?
Corran_H @Jysella_Horn I wouldn’t be trumpeting the fact that I hang around all day and do nothing, if I were you. Kids now days. Get a job.
Jysella_Horn .@Corran_H can we talk about unfair now? I hang around and do nothing IN CARBONITE! if I get sold to a hutt I’ll be pissed.
Corran_H @Jysella_Horn Excuses, excuses. “I’m sick”, “I have homework”, “I’m in carbonite”. There’s always something.
Jysella_Horn @Corran_H do you think I should charge Daala for this? I’m sure I’m benifiting something scientifically for her & it’s full time.
Corran_H @Jysella_Horn You should! There has to be a carbonite statues’ union or something. What’s Valin getting paid?
Jysella_Horn @Corran_H I don’t know, he’s giving me the cold shoulder..
Corran_H @Jysella_Horn He’s been such a stiff lately.
Bad puns about Valin being frozen went on for quite some time.
Then he proceeded to threaten to kill @the_exar_kun by strapping him into the “It’s a Small World” ride an sending him through repeatedly until his head explodes.
That’s about the time @jysella_horn & @thebenskywalker started discussing having “grown up tea” much to @L_Skywalker’s horror (who will NOT stop *pining* for @themarajade). Corran’s awesome parenting skillz showed up again:
Corran_H @Jysella_Horn You’re too young for tea!!! @theBenSkywalker she meant kool-aid…but not the kind that sends you to heaven.
theBenSkywalker @Corran_H kool aid? Wanna run that by me again? I… Is that first r second base?
Corran_H @theBenSkywalker It’s no base. You’re not even getting out of the dugout. The ball boy’s getting more action than you.
Jysella_Horn .@Corran_H can I have a new ball boy?
Corran_H @Jysella_Horn NO BOYS. Certainly none with balls…or @theBenSkywalker
Jysella_Horn .@Corran_H so girls are okay?
Corran_H @Jysella_Horn Your mother and I support your lifestyle decisions…once you hit the proper relationship age of 60.
theBenSkywalker @Corran_H it ok, i have a code word i can use if my telekinesis is inadequa… Oh wait that’s not me that’s you!
Corran_H @theBenSkywalker I may not be telekinetic, but I’m pretty sure I can make you think you’re watching your parents have…tea…anytime I want
And well, you can imagine how well things went on from there…. (I think the night ended with Ben shrieking in horror at the sight of his dead mum & dad having “tea” while I got @L_Skywalker drunk - what? he needs to loosen up!)
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As for today, apparently while twitter was down & no one was watching, @every1luvspadme enrolled @every1hatesani into @thedarthtalon’s “Make him a REAL Man” school. I dunno. All I know is that it involves Ani getting tortured & humiliated and IT IS AWESOME. To quote @every1luvspadme: “I am so excited to finally see @every1hatesani in a Reform School! I know @thedarthtalon will whip him into shape! whip it - whip it good!”
Oh, and apparently Talon likes to torture her victims whilst singing Disney tunes. She a bit sadistic. Also, for some reason Ani kept begging Talon for a taste of her buttered strawberry muffin… o_0
A recap:thedarthtalon *Places slumbering @Every1HatesAni on the “Machine”, hooks him up, then waits for him to wake*
thedarthtalon @Every1HatesAni greetings little Jedi. I trust you slept well? *starts watching Aladin & singing along “I can show you the world…”* *perches on edge of Machine & starts feeding Ani bites of her buttered muffin* ah yes, the Machine. Beautiful isn’t it? it took Count Rugen 1/2 a lifetime to invent. I’m sure by now you’ve discovered my deep & abiding interest in pain *feeds Ani another bite of muffin* I’m trying to help Count Rugen write a definitive work on the subject, so I need you to be totally honest with me on how the machine makes you feel. *feeds last bite of muffin, & licks fingertips* *moves over to Machine’s lever* this being our first try, I’ll use the lowest setting *ruffles Ani’s hair & grins evilly*
every1hatesani @thedarthtalon Not the hair! You have buttery fingers!
thedarthtalon @Every1HatesAni i licked my fingers first! here goes… *raises lever & turns on the Machine*
every1hatesani @thedarthtalonAAAAAaaaaaAaAGgHHhhhggghhhhgfga
thedarthtalon *turns off machine calmly* As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. Really that’s all this is except-that instead of sucking water, I’m sucking life. I’ve just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don’t know what that would do to you. So, let’s just start with what we have *pulls out datapad* *prepares to type* What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so be honest. How do you feel?
every1hatesani @thedarthtalon *lip quiver* …*cries*
thedarthtalon hmmm, interesting. *types in datapad, then sings “I’ll make a man out of you”* let’s watch “Mulan” while you recover.
every1hatesani @thedarthtalon …*sniffles & nods* fine.thedarthtalon talking already? *annotates “fast recovery/healing. Good canditate for ‘Embrace of Pain’” in datapad* *strokes cheek tenderly* I only torture because I care. Gotta do what I can to make you a Sith Lord! *pats hand comfortinglyevery1hatesani @thedarthtalon *feeling sorry self* *sniffles*thedarthtalon *keeps Ani strapped to Machine but places coushin under head* now rest; if you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything
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So yeah, there’s that…
Also, @every1luvspadme does seem to explain some things the best at times. For example, we are down 2 handmaidens now (I’m very sad about that - they were horrid to Ani… it was awesome!) “Sabe ran away w/ Eirtae! When I reminded her that Eirtae died Sabe said, “Necrophilia means never having to say you’re sorry!!” & SHE LEFT!!”
And looks like @the_darth_vader changed his name to @Darth__Vader__
Oh, and Ani’s kinda dad showed up: @Darth__Plagueis
As did the aformentioned @L_skywalker. Let’s not forget his twin @leiaorganasolo & her hubby @han_solo_ & his partner @wookieeChewie and I’m sure I’ve missed many other new arrivals, and if I have, I’m very sorry. Please come introduce yourself! :)
Anyways, this smuggler off like a prom dress!
-@MiraxTerrik
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