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Seems like a lot has gone on in the Star Wars Twitterverse today-and I wasn’t there for most of it. (Also I’m stuck babysitting Orphan Ani tonight so excuse any typos while I try not killing him. It has to be payback for the “girls trip” I had Mirax go on.) So I’m relying on some eyewitnesses to help with today’s events. Starting with:
A Report from the desk of Captain Needa:
An explosion sounded this morning aboard Exactor. Captain Needa was dispatched to find the cause of the situation, but could not pinpoint the threat. Meanwhile, star destroyer Devastator was critically hit, and was nearly deemed lost, until a faint distress signal came from Captain Terin Reis. All were accounted for.
Star destroyer Nemisis was hijacked and began to launch an assault on star destroyers Devastator and Exactor.
Vader and Aria left in their TIE’s to attend to enemy fire. Aria did so to misdirect Vader because she, in fact was the culprit responsible for the whole ordeal. Both fighters (Vader’s and Aria’s) were greatly compromised, and it was only by the quick thinking of Admiral Piett and Captain Needa that both were successfully retrieved via tractor beam.
Following her return to Exactor, Aria experienced severe internal bleeding from the damage inflicted to her TIE, and almost died. Once sustained, she confessed that she was the mastermind behind the ordeal.
Aria maintained that her plans were never meant as an attempt on Death Squadron or Vader, but instead an attempt on the Emperor’s flagship, which had currently dropped out of hyperspace.
Labeled as a traitor to the Empire, Commander Aria Brisard was taken to a maximum security holding facility and is currently en-route to Coruscant to stand at tribunal for her actions.
Thanks Needa! Hopefully the charges will be dropped as @AriaBrisard has gotten everyone hooked on corellian wine & I think there could be an uprising if everyone is cut off.(OMMAKER! And like, she’s a nice person & should be rescued?!?? Geez! And corellian wine is the bomb dot com. -Anakin)
@Ghez_Fel finds himself in an equally dire situation as a result from his earlier bounty-hunting trip with @Deliah_Blue. Seems like their targets had friends in low places-The Death Watch to be exact-and have taken their revenge upon Ghez by kidnapping him. I hear plans are in the works this very minute to rescue him. (If they need the BEST PILOT EVER I’ll help. Also I’m the most powerful Jedi Knight ever.-Anakin)
On a lighter note @Jedi_Exile seems to have gained a stalker in the form of @TheJediMical but lost a friend @Female_Revan due to Exile’s making Mical cry & Revan having to listen to it. Gosh, crying…that wouldn’t sound like anyone I know, would it? (I don’t cry. My eyes were sweaty that day.-Anakin)
And @Every1luvsPadme is making a huge mistake seeing as she has agreed to go on a weekend trip with @Every1hatesAni-with the promise that he would leave her aloone should the trip fail-to try & rekindle their lus-I mean the deep, undying love they once had for each other. She also confessed that Anakin is indeed the father of her children. Glad that’s all sorted out although I hope Ani does some soul-searching beforehand & finds the inner babysitter that has to be in there somewhere. (Shut up-Anakin)
Since our SW community welcomes all I’m also reporting on the activites of the wanted vampires-@Vampire_Lestat1 & @LouistheDamned. They-in an effort to once again get on the good side of @ScorchedSith & @AriaBrisard-undertook a mission against @TheTarkin. The Death Star was trashed & it involves garlic, crucifix, holy water, & a note written in blood.
-Corran Horn
